Another Monday

Its the day after a four day weekend and work looms around the corner. It is a Monday on steroids already. Over the weekend, due to my gross negligence, my truck has sat, out of gas, with dead battery. My efforts to jump it last night were fruitless and this morning we will see. Hopefully it simply needs a little more time. But it is bitter cold outside. As soon as the sun went down last night frost crystals began shimmering in the porch light. This slow invasion of ice was beginning. This morning I'll have to make multiple trips into the crunchy grass, the frozen dirt where i park and where i have shoe horned in my wife's vehicle, to work at jump starting my truck. I know i have to do it but i couldn't care less. All the effort for a temporary job? It isn't even that its temporary so much as its work. Work in general. I know, i sound like a whinger. I am a little bit, but indulge me, i don't whinge too often.

Carpentry doesn't bother me. I actually enjoy carpentry and take a great deal of pride in the work i do, especially at the finishing stage. Putting together perfect miters and tight coped joints is very satisfying. The same is true for standing up walls and pushing a house from floor to floor to roof and watching the process come together. Looking back, project after project, the memory is all stop action footage from nothing to something. Being a carpenter has been gratifying on many levels and i have moved through the ranks quickly and efficiently. But my time in this industry is over, i have felt it for some time. As the economy finds equilibrium it will be a disjointed job market filled with layoffs and pay cuts and this family is not in a position to constantly deal with the ups and downs of a feast or famine career. But what i want to do is unclear.

Maybe this is an echo but it is my blog and this is my morning thought. What i want to do is unclear, what is clear is that it has to be in line with my passions. I don't think, at this point, I'm going to be paid to sit late into the morning drinking coffee--passion number one out. There in lies the problem though. Not finding things that interest me to do, rather the whole concept of work in general. I simply don't like to do it! The 8-5 grind, or 9-5, or 7-4, or whatever a 40 work week is to whoever is reading, I'd rather not, honestly. I like sitting late and watching the world come to light. I like drinking coffee and being with my family in the morning. I like setting out for a bit o' trail riding on my mt. bike mid morning and returning with half the day ahead of me. A life of leisure is what i long for. But as i stated, that is out. I've got to work. It is the curse Adam brought upon his descendants when he tasted the apple. But it is hard to find energy and inspiration for that which i have no ownership. This blog is different.

This blog is mine. I own it. Some days the writing will suffer. Some days i will be void of inspiration and creative thought. My opinions will be dry and i am sure it will seem like cotton mouth as you read--distasteful and annoying. However, it is mine, and i take ownership over what i write because what i write is an expression of me. The place I'm coming from.

And it doesn't feel like work.