Life in Moderation

It has come to my attention that as a moderate, in nearly every discussion, I will always be in the minority.  Any conversation about politics--it is the extreme and committed party line voters who talk politics--or religion involves people who are dedicated to one belief/stance or another.  Sports, academia, work - I am moderately good at these things but not quite exceptional.  And being moderate is not a bad thing, indeed, I am quite content to be the moderate balance to nearly everything I apply myself too.  I have deep passions for this or that, but find there is little natural aptitude for many things.  I do read exceptionally fast but I wonder if I only comprehend moderately?

It can be a frustration world in the life of the moderate man.  Having deep passions for soccer i have only moderate ability so my desire to play, win, and enjoy the game is limited by my moderate fitness, moderate talent, and moderate time in which to apply myself to the world's game.  I love mountain biking a great deal but I have only moderate skill on the trails, further, I have only moderate courage when it comes to trying new and challenging components of the sport.  I suppose this is an element of the cross I bear.

For all my moderate abilities I am able to develop deep passions about the things I moderately believe in...right...I become consumed with the little things my neighbor does that annoy me, that I am sure he does on purpose.  Like parking in such a way that I have to back up to drive away, or dumping scrap lumber on the city right of way where the block is able to park thus eliminating a parking space.  I become consumed with the knee jerk reactions of all the extremist political parties.  The debates and positions collide in my head and run my mind ragged with their antics until I have exhausted my (moderate) capacity to internalize my thoughts and they flare out quietly.

I am an extremist impaired by the mentality of a moderate and I am destined to take on the mantle of the devil's advocate in a very moderate way.

Its Been a Hard Days Night, I've Been Workin' Like a Dog

I am two and a half weeks into a new job doing remodels.  Again I have searched and searched and searched for work outside my immediate area of experience and have come up with nada the result being carpentry once again.  I don't mind carpentry.  Working with my hands, thinking critically and outside the box to accomplish the task at hand.  These are things that appeal to me, that I'm good at, and, apparently, the only work I can get hired for in Whatcom County.  Carpentry is well and good, but it is definitely not what I want to do with the rest of my working life--there are other things to explore.  But more immediately on my mind is the nature of getting acclimatized to working with a new company.

After six odd months of unemployment it is refreshing to find a job.  Making three contacts a week (the conditions of unemployment insurance) eventually paid off--however, suddenly I am accountable to someone else for my time, energy, actions, and habits on the job.  It is kind of a shock to the system.  Having had small projects of my own here and there and showing up anywhere between eight or nine in the morning to getting  a slight reprimand for being five minutes late (albeit every day) is shocking.  Truth be told I was a little put out!  So it struck me, as the day progressed, that I have lost a great deal of promptness in the past few months, but also fail to see the importance of having such a strict starting time.

This notion that we should be five minutes early, to start the day a little ahead of schedule is admirable--I guess.  (Let me say, before I progress, that I am thankful for my job.)  But it makes implications about the relationship between the employee and their job.  Such as commitment, dedication, passion, and energy.  I gotta be honest, I can't seem to muster a whole lot of that for another job swinging a hammer.  At least, not for the work I've been doing lately.  When I'm working for someone else I feel the stakes drop a few levels, there is nothing at risk for me, nothing to really fight for, and I feel, in some respects, like robot in my daily routine.  Some might say a robot badly in need of reprogramming.  But my awareness of, my reaction too, and my relationship to work is changing.  I fail to see how showing up five minutes early (I remember my 9th grade careers teacher talking about how important it was) is important or reflects on my craftsmanship.  I fail to see the value in the puritan work ethic we are brought up to embrace.

My work is not my life, I don't get paid enough to be consumed by a day fixing someones house or condo or garage or whatever.  Nor do I have the mentality to let myself fall into a career-rut, following the tracks of a job to retirement whether I enjoy the work I do or not.  I am in the process of retraining, taking the preliminary steps to return to school, but for now I have to struggle with a carpentry job that I am close to being completely indifferent about.

The Returning Black Hole.

It has been challenging to get back into a routine of blogging prior to getting ready for work.  Obviously.  But the new job isn't all hat is keeping me from blogging.  For the past couple of months, or so, my blogging frequency has dropped off dramatically.  I feel like I'm living in a mental black hole--I've written this before--wherein all my thoughts and strides towards originality and creativity are pulled into nothingness and lost forever.  Even now, Monday morning when I should be relatively fresh and alert, I'm falling asleep at the computer and struggling to string one sentence to the next.  Coffee beside me, I'm trying, desperately, to hammer on this blog.

But the truth is that I have nothing on my mind.  Well, nothing cohesive that would string out to one thing after another and into thoughts recognized as complete.  So, while it leaves me annoyed with my inability to thing and my frustration at being so damn tired I'm going to put this post out of its misery.

Jobs and Careers.

Its been a while since I've taken my spot at the computer to blog.  I haven't been away from the computer, per-se, but I have been keeping myself distracted with other things.  With the beginning of the EPL eminent, there has been a lot of talk about who will be playing soccer at what club in England and what club is sacking what manager and all the usual intrigue about money, transfers, and general nit picky gossip.  Fascinating stuff, riveting reading, mindless plague of a distraction.  But honestly I think I've been hiding from my blog, checking in periodically for all the comments I don't get but generally keeping away from the meat and potatoes of writing.

I started a new job last week, working for a contractor who specializes in remodels and additions.  So far so good I guess.  I reflected with a friend after I got the job that it does more to emphasise the need to retrain as much as bring comfort and security to our lives.  I was hoping to leave this season of unemployment with a clear path and understanding of what I wanted to do with my life besides carpentry.  I enjoy, immensely, woodworking and look forward to curating a shop of my own in the future.  But for a career I want..I need something different. 

It frustrated me that the path is no more clear than it was six months ago when I was laid off initially.  By and large the mud has settled and I understand, clearly, what I don't want to do and now, I am tentatively pursuing a career in the physical therapy sector but how that will play out I am not sure and what the final goal is i am not sure.  The road to a position of assistant is short and intense and paved with immediate rewards and a quick realization of the top of their respective totem pole.  The road towards therapist is long and arduous but the benefits at the end are two or three times greater.  It seems like a no brainer, but it is close to six years of school to put together any classes I am missing then obtain a Dr. of Physical Therapy.  That is a lot to ask my family to undertake.

But the time is now and soon I have to make the decision to go after one or the other.  I wonder if I can pursue them both?

Landon Donovan Revisited

A few months ago, on the eve of his loan move to Everton FC in the England Premier League (EPL) I wrote that Donovan didn't have the physical presence to be successful in England.  That his technical, to the feet game was more suited for Spain or France and my prediction was that his experience would be complete failure from soccer perspective.

I was wrong.  Very, very wrong.

Donovan's time at Everton was a success.  He endeared himself to the club, the fans, and proved that he is an American player of extraordinary talent and ability by slotting into the team immediately and having an immediate impact.  He created goals, scored a couple, and generally did what he does:  carry the ball, run at defenders, create openings for others, and work exceptionally hard.  Yes, Donovan has a great work ethic to go with his exceptional talent which is somewhat rare for creative players of his type.

Donovan is at the peak of his powers.  If he was ready to go abroad and be successful it is now.  He will fade dramatically in Major League Soccer (MLS) from now to the end of his career if a move to European club can not be facilitated.  I can understand the MLS wanting to keep him in L.A., he is the crown jewel in a mediocre league, but for the sake of his career, in honor of his service to American soccer, the MLS should work to let him go and he should have a hero's sendoff.

Landon Donovan is a joy to watch play soccer.  In the nature of those who are truly gifted at what they do, he makes it seem effortless and cultured and he is a rare talent for any country, much less the US.

A New Job

It has been six months of unemployment for me and today I start a new job.  It is ironic that after all the emotional turmoil and searching, the gamut of emotions from deep depression to a final acceptance, the reams of paper that became cover letters and resumes to a diverse range of industries and jobs, the job I am offered is remodeling houses.  Let me be very clear:  I am thankful for a job.  I have been working very hard to find a job and finally it is here, I am very thankful.  However, this is not what I want to do with the rest of my life.

The striking reality is that, while I was applying for whatever carpentry jobs there were available, my heart hasn't been fully in it.  There was a big part of my mind that had accepted a version of reality that saw me as my own boss while I started school.  This version of reality was vivid and I had come to fully accept it, come what may.  So, today, I will be at Advent Construction Services shop/office going through an orientation, filling out my paperwork, getting the skinny on the jobs happening, negotiating wages, learning about benefits, and getting a solid feeling for the company I'm about to start with and start the slow process of changing my mindset from independence to employee.

I am still planning on taking classes in the fall, getting the ball rolling to facilitate a change in career.  I am not a lifetime carpenter but for now it will facilitate change.