Faith in God, Defeating Fear.

It is frustrating to live in a world of fear.  As a rule I do not worry about the horrible things that can happen to people as they move through out their days and weeks and months and years but occasionally there is a catalyst to fear that works its way into the very fiber of my being.  This fear is usually associated with the safety and security of my family.

In the face of being unemployed there is stress enough.  The constant nagging that fires in my brain about living -- covering rent, putting food on the table, paying the bills, cloths on our backs -- is ever present.  The fear aspect, the questions of what if it doesn't work out? can generally be laid to rest, or at least used as a spring board to success.  This is fear I can control and do something about--exercise determination, discipline, and a solid work ethic at finding work to bring in cash and thus providing and exorcising the fear of failure and poverty.  It is enough to combat these fears without letting the fears I can not control take hold on my life.

But recently a level 3 sex offender moved into our neighborhood--neighborhood nothing, onto our block sharing an alley.  This has given rise to a whole new level of fear and anxiety.  The safety of my wife and children suddenly becomes a direct focus of my life.  My families safety is always one of my chief concerns but with a predator directly behind our house it suddenly becomes less of a warm concern and more of a burning fire of anger and a protective, defensive spirit.  Recurring dreams of tearing him limb from limb haunt my dreams and the cold rush of anger fueled adrenaline pumps through my body at the very thought of seeing him much less catching him trying to interact with my children.

This is a stark reminder of the presence of evil -- for I can call him nothing less than embodying a spirit of evil to destroy of the innocence of children -- in our world.  Evil we interact with and live beside and brush shoulders with on a daily basis and often ignorant of its physical manifestation.  And suddenly my world is shrouded by fear and it is a fear for which I can do nothing but be diligent, protective, and wary.  All I can do, suddenly, is trust that God will be the ultimate protector and provider.  It is a lesson I am slow to learn and prone to forget but in the immediate context of my life it is all I have, all we have:  faith in God.

I am not a man prone to talk of religion, despite my Christain faith, nor am I inclined to spiritual discipline, study, or bouts of quiet time and prayer. By and large I am content to offer to God what is God's and live my life as best I can, quietly and introverted by my nature. But today I am filled with the overwhelming sense of divine presence around the spirits of my family, as though a protective aura has settled up us.  My prayers last night were that God would make our house a fortress of protection and today those prayers are realized.