As it relates to yesterdays post, I'm not looking for a pity party. I've come to discover that life is extremely hard but we are rarely honest on this point. There is something to keeping your chin up and looking on the bright side but there comes a point for an honest reflection of the pain and frustration part and parcel to a person's lot in life. I try to keep in mind a quote from Lonesome Dove: "This is a fine world, though rich in hardships."
I am not afraid of the hardships of life, God knows me and my little family have endured our share, but I am daunted with the task of finding work, living in a liquid schedule, and stretching meager resources--again. I am fortunate to have a wife who understands and shoulders this burden with me. I don't look forward to unemployment, the financial stress is tremendous and frightening, but I do look forward to the other things in life. I am thankful for healthy children who seem largely unaffected by the changing routine. I have friends who stand behind me. I have writing, I have reading, I have mountain biking, I have coffee and beer. I have a great deal to look forward to in the lingering days of unemployment.
There are good days and bad and usually the mornings are better than the afternoons. I am able to wake up with the promise of a new day, enter into a long session of writing, search for jobs and go for a ride. As the afternoon fades away to night, however, it brings the stark realization that there was no work this day and no work tomorrow and the stress level rises to a boiling point, then my dreams are shadowed with anxiety... But the sun rises with promise, I have always believed that, and the new morning brings another chance to write, another chance to look for jobs, and another day to ride.
It is good to have time with my children and my wife. It is good to scale back and live a minimal life. It is frightening to not know what tomorrow will bring.
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