Conformity, or Not.

I have to confess to being somewhat of a non-conformist. Maybe non-conformist is the wrong word but labels like rebel, hippie, conservative, extremist don't fit. Maybe its not appropriate for me to assign my own label but I don't think that non-conformist is, necessarily, a label, rather a descriptive term for my personality.

Ultimately conformity baffles me. Not so much because a group of people--even an entire sub-culture--go about acting and dressing the same but because most of these do so under the spectre of non-conformity. If an gang of white youths from middle class backgrounds and privileged allowances turns their hair into dread locks and embraces a pseudo rasta lifestyle haven't they conformed to a American brand of Rastafarian living? They don't even have to go so far as the dreads and and the tie dye just the glorification of Bob Marley and the little "hip" linguistic choices like "Rastafarian mon" and suddenly the young, leftist thinkers have all conformed to a dramatic stereotype of pot smokin' hippies. This is an example, my problem with conformity neither begins nor stops with the dread lock rasta wannabes that flutter in and out of the insular world of like minded validification (usually found in a University setting). Conformity is no unique to the non-conformists.

I find conformity rampant in a social perceptive of acceptance and propriety. The way we dress for jobs, the way we cut (or not) our hair... Maybe its me, but it seems we, as a society, are afraid to be alone so we glom onto like minded people to validate our lives and in doing so we begin to make statements--fashion, social, political--that bring together other peoples of our ilk. This isn't necessarily a problem but it does begin to make me a bit wary. I am not in the business of validating personal ideology--religious, political, social beliefs--I have neither the time nor energy of a lifestyle of apologetics and defense of my beliefs. I am ready and willing for a dialogue but let me beg the question: when was the last time you were able to engage in an active dialogue with someone about which you fundamentally disagree? And, was it a dialogue or a shouting match? I digress.

My wife made dread lock comment yesterday and that is what spurred this little rant but in the process of dissecting these thoughts in my head it brought me to a conclusion that I hate to agree with people. Not all people but when someone holds a belief or ideology so close, close to the point of obsession my knee jerk reaction is to recoil and condemn it. Even if I agree to some extent, my mind begins to tear apart their beliefs irregardless. With left-wing liberals, right-wing conservatives, Christians, atheists, agnostics, the only people I identify with are right dab smack in the center. I can't help it. I don't mean to be an asshole or jerk, I don't intend to disagree for the sake of disagreement but most people so far into their own little world of skewed ideology and beliefs are so disconnected from reality that I can't help myself, I want to bring them down. In claiming to be non-judgemental they judge those who freely judge others. In claiming to be open minded they close their minds to those who are close minded.

I am not, admittedly, the bedrock of reason and compromise, their are some stances upon which I stand irrevocably firm; however, I am willing to dialogue about them. You will not change my mind, and I may not change yours but I'll listen to what you have to say.

On a very base level this whole spiel means that I have a problem with social conventions. It makes me sick to dress for an interview or write a functional cover letter that is recognized as acceptable. Stereotypes of romance, passion, camaraderie, art, decor all bore me to a point of vanity and conceit. In someways I have alienated myself from some very decent people leading conventional lives in acceptable ways, people chasing the American dream of their choice. Conversely I have developed some very powerful and rich friendships with people from all walks of the social ladder, people with unique talents and far reaching mind sets.

The biggest challenge I face is a lack of conviction, when asked point blank out of context of those around me. However, what are your convictions? Want to dialogue?