Discipline of Writing

Its hard for me to write when i don't feel an oppressive sense of darkness or frustration. When life is moving at a relatively comfortable pace and things seem to move along smoothly and the trials and tribulations of living poor in a wealthy society seem like speed bumps and footnotes the need to break free is, well, non-existent. I have nothing to break free from if i feel free already. It is strange, but this has often been my struggle, my battle, my lot in a writing life. Times of contentment tend to coincide with periods of very, very unproductive writing.

This strange paradigm is wrapped up this blog. My hope is that as i write through these times i will break free from this mood based writing. By creating a discipline of writing i will create a mental fortress that allows for a way into writing regardless of the circumstances of life. This is how--it must be--writers make a living at writing. They write, regardless, every day, without fail. This is what i want in my writing. Something everyday and gradually driving towards a life in which writing pays the bills.

I have had, in the short life of this blog, moments of intense encouragement and those of deep lows and frustration as it relates to writing. This roller coaster highlights how far i have to go. Besides the narcissistic need for people to be reading what I've written, the ability to break free of my conservative nature needs to strengthened. (Conservative in so much as i am afraid to really explore the story lines of my mind, not necessarily the way i view the world.)

This is all i have today, my legs are pumped out from a great mt. bike ride on the local hill--Galbraith Mt.--and the sun is very bright and warm and this is not my optimum time to write but sense i woke up late...