It is becoming increasingly difficult to maintain routine. If you read here regularly you will have noticed that daily entries have tapered off to entries scattered across the week. Due to lack of urgency to maintain a daily schedule it has begun to fall off. I'm here writing this morning because i have work today, the instinct to get my day going kicks in when there is work involved, i know i need this time in the morning to gather my senses and take time to start my day.
Increasingly it is hard to write, brain activity has slowed to a frightening crawl as i become consumed with job-search obsession, wondering what is happening in my life. I can hardly think beyond the moment in front of me constantly watching the Internet for job postings and possibilities.
I did start career counselling last week and was initially encouraged by the counsellors vive and positive attitude but the reality remains that career change is going to be a long hard pull up hill, in the snow, against the wind. Both ways. I am overwhelmed by the process ahead, that is what has clouded my ability to think and drive forward. To write here, it is back to the feeling of trying to run through deep sand. I feel like i should be going faster as hard as I'm working. I desperately need out of the sand. This entry sucks.
No comments:
Post a Comment